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27 Key Tips to Overcome Conflict Avoidance in Relationships

Conflict Avoidance In Relationships

As long as she’s passing her classes, she should be given some room to live her own life. Voicing your objections could include pointing out if the barista got your coffee order wrong or reminding your co-worker that they forgot to get back to you on an important issue. Instead of seeing conflict as something that’s inevitably hurtful, consider how it can be productive. If you are only thinking about what you think will work without taking your partner’s suggestions into consideration, they might feel that you are ignoring or invalidating them. It also could get in the way of a productive—and efficient—resolution to the problem.

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This can look like telling your partner things you are grateful for, sharing how to feel about something that happened at work, or acknowledging your emotional reaction to a movie you watch together. However, some people avoid conflict at all costs — even when the conflict is necessary. To avoid rocking the boat, conflict-avoidant people might bottle up their feelings and sidestep discussing important issues with others. However, when conflict is not productive or healthy, it can be harmful to everyone involved. Sustained, unresolved conflict can create tension at home or at work, can erode the strength and satisfaction of relationships, and can even make people feel physically sick or in pain.

Conflict Avoidance In Relationships

The Five Conflict Resolution Styles

Conflict avoiders may silence their opinions to please other people. They think that if they keep their opinions and needs to themselves, others will like them. For instance, instead of telling yourself that you’re going to argue about finances, tell yourself that you’re going to complete the task of creating a budget with your partner. One way to prevent conflicts from festering and becoming unmanageable is to have a weekly “state of the union” meeting with your significant other. Those unaddressed issues tend to fester like a forgotten lunchbox in your locker – things get messy, and the stench how to deal with someone who avoids conflict can be pretty overwhelming.

  • Conflict can make most people feel uneasy, whether a full-blown argument or a civil confrontation.
  • Conflict avoidance is not about evading or sidestepping uncomfortable discussions; rather, it is about fostering a culture of respect, understanding, and proactive communication.
  • For example, you might practice reminding your boss about your boundaries and that they agreed to your boundaries in the first place.
  • You may avoid confrontation because you imagine it will go poorly or lead to a full-blown fight, but this doesn’t have to be the case.
  • Addressing conflicts in a relationship in a healthy and beneficial way is a learned skill.
  • It is imperative to create a positive and inclusive environment where everyone feels heard and respected.

Remind yourself that you cannot control other people

Conflict Avoidance In Relationships

As anyone who has been in a romantic relationship knows, disagreements and fights are inevitable. When two people spend a lot of time together, with their lives intertwined, they are bound to disagree from time to time. How parents and caregivers react when a child expresses their thoughts and feelings can have a great impact on the child’s wellbeing. If a child is controlled, engulfed, or dismissed in their family environment, they may develop conflict-avoidant and secretive behaviors and thoughts to maintain a sense of safety and security. The thing about conflict avoidance is that, in small doses, it’s a perfectly reasonable reaction.

Conflict Avoidance In Relationships

If you start talking through something difficult with your partner and find that you are becoming too angry, overwhelmed, or tired to continue, take a break. Resume the discussion when you’ve both had a chance to rest and regroup. Conflicts in a relationship don’t have to turn into down-and-out fights. You can have a disagreement with your partner without yelling, name-calling, dredging up the past, belittling them, or minimizing your needs.

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